Text us Contact us

Distress Tolerance · DBT skill

STOP

Stop · Take a step back · Observe · Proceed mindfully

STOP (Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed mindfully) is a pause skill for the moment just before you act on an urge you might regret.

The steps

  1. Stop. Three breaths. Slow.
  2. Take a step back — what's the bigger picture here?
  3. Observe — what's true right now? What are you actually feeling?
  4. Proceed mindfully — pick the move that fits the bigger picture, not the impulse.

Not sure this is the right skill? Try the Skills Finder →

When it helps

When you have just enough time to interrupt yourself.

An example

In a meeting, a coworker takes credit for your work and you feel the words forming. You freeze for a second, sit back, notice your face is hot and your jaw is clenched, and ask what you want out of this. You decide to raise it with your manager afterward.

Where people get stuck

  • Skipping the freeze. Everything else depends on stopping first, even for one second.
  • Using Observe to rehearse the argument. Observe means noticing what's happening in you and around you, not building your case.
  • Thinking "proceed mindfully" means doing nothing. It means choosing the action that fits your goals, which may still be speaking up.

When not to use it

When there's real physical danger and you need to act right away, act. STOP is for emotional urges, not emergencies.

If you're thinking about suicide or are in crisis, call or text 988 any time, or go to your nearest emergency room.

Related skills

  • TIPPWhen your body is hijacked by a big emotion
  • Pros and ConsWhen you're trying to decide whether to act on an impulse
  • Wise MindWhen emotion or logic alone is steering wrong

Written by FRTC's clinical team. Reviewed by Tanner Oliver, LCSW. Skills practice supports DBT; it isn't a substitute for treatment. How to find real DBT.

Looking for a DBT program in Denver? Send us a message.