Friends & Family DBT Program
Is your loved one struggling with strong emotions or BPD? Our Friends and Family DBT program teaches you skills to better support them, improve your relationship, and take care of yourself.
At a glance
- For
- Parents, partners and loved ones of someone with intense emotions, whether that person is in treatment at FRTC, elsewhere, or not at all.
- Not for
- Treatment of the loved one; they don't need to attend.
- Format
- One-on-one DBT skills sessions, in person or online.
- Length
- Set with your clinician.
- Cost
- $175–225 per 50-minute session.
- Insurance
- Colorado Medicaid through Colorado Access and RMHP. Other plans out-of-network, with superbills. HSA/FSA accepted.
Who Can Benefit
If your loved one is struggling with any of the following, this program might help you:
Friends & Family DBT, One-on-One
Learn DBT skills modified for supporting a loved one, taught one-on-one and paced to your situation. We work with family of clients in our program, of people in treatment elsewhere, and of people who refuse treatment.
Your loved one does not need to be in our program to participate. You can use an HSA or FSA card — eligibility is set by your plan.
What You'll Learn Eight core topics, each building on the last.
- 01
Skills Training Assumptions and the Biosocial Model
The seven assumptions DBT makes about people in treatment and the people who love them, and why those assumptions change the conversation at home.
- 02
Understanding Emotions
What emotions are doing, why they're useful even when they hurt, and how they get stuck.
- 03
Mindfulness: States of Mind and Non-Judgmentalness
The Linehan mindfulness module — Wise Mind, observing, describing, participating. Mindfulness in DBT is a clinical skill, not a tradition or belief practice.
- 04
Dialectics and Balancing Priorities in Relationships
How two things can be true at once, and why families need this idea more than most.
- 05
GIVE and Validation
A practical communication skill set for staying connected during hard conversations.
- 06
FAST and DEAR MAN
Asking for what you need, and saying no, without losing the relationship or yourself.
- 07
Behavior Change Basics
Reinforcement, extinction, and what actually shapes behavior over time — including your own.
- 08
Acceptance and Willingness
What it means to accept reality as it is right now, and how that opens up change.
Taught one-on-one by FRTC clinicians, in person or online. We use the same DBT framework your loved one learns, modified for caregivers.
The Biosocial Model: Why Your Loved One Feels So Much
Marsha Linehan, who developed Dialectical Behavior Therapy, described BPD as a transaction between two things: a person who feels emotions more intensely and for longer than most, and an environment that — for many reasons — didn't consistently treat those emotions as valid.
It is not a moral failing. It is not bad parenting. It is a fit problem between a sensitive system and a world that often misunderstands sensitivity. Naming this matters because it changes what families talk about together: from blame to skills.
The Friends and Family curriculum starts here. We unpack what "emotional sensitivity" actually means at a nervous-system level, what an invalidating environment looks like (it isn't always overt), and why the combination produces the patterns you may be seeing at home.
What Validation Is — and Isn't
Validation is one of the most useful tools families can learn, and one of the most misunderstood. Validation does not mean agreement. It means communicating that the other person's experience makes sense given their context.
Three pointers we work on in session:
Be present.
Put the phone down. Eye contact. The body language often matters more than the words.
Reflect what's there.
“That sounds really hard” is validation. “You're right and I'm wrong” is not — that's capitulation, and it teaches the relationship the wrong thing.
Name what makes sense.
Even when you disagree with the conclusion, you can usually find the part of the feeling that fits the situation. Name that part.
In sessions we work through the six levels of validation that Linehan described, with practice and feedback. Most caregivers find that levels three and four — reading what the other person is feeling without them having to say it, and validating in terms of past experience — are the ones that take real practice.
How DBT Skills Help Friends & Family
Improve Unstable Relationships
When a loved one suffers from BPD, the whole family suffers. DBT skills help you respond more effectively and reduce the cycle of conflict and emotional reactivity.
Respond to Concerning Behaviors
Learn how to handle alternating extremes of affection and rejection, dependency and anger, or dangerous and risky behaviors without making things worse.
Reduce Self-Harm and Suicidality
Gain tools to respond to threatening, self-injurious, or suicidal behaviors in ways that are supportive and effective.
Get Support for You
Loving someone with BPD can be difficult. Sessions offer emotional support and teach new ways of responding that reduce your own distress.
Who You'll Be Working With
Licensed clinicians, led by a Certified DBT Clinician™. We meet weekly as a consultation team so every client gets the collective expertise — not one therapist working alone.
Additional Options If you want more support, or your loved one is ready for their own care, here's where to go next.
BPD Treatment Program
Comprehensive DBT treatment for adults with borderline personality disorder — the primary condition this page addresses.
Learn about BPD treatment → For you or your partnerAdult DBT Program
Full comprehensive DBT — individual therapy, weekly skills class, and phone coaching — for adults who want to build their own skill base.
Explore Adult DBT → For the two of youCouples Therapy
Structured couples therapy that uses DBT skills to reduce conflict, strengthen communication, and repair trust.
See Couples Therapy →Frequently Asked Questions
Does my loved one need to be in DBT for me to start?
No. About half the families we work with are supporting someone who is in treatment elsewhere, or who isn't in treatment at all. The skills are valuable in any of those situations.
Does this draw on any tradition or belief system?
No. The work is strictly clinical. Mindfulness in DBT is a secular skill — observing, describing, and participating in the present moment without judgment — adapted by Linehan from contemporary cognitive-behavioral research. We keep tradition and belief framing out of sessions.
Will I learn what to do in a crisis?
We cover the relevant DBT skills (including TIPP for high-arousal situations) and discuss when families should escalate to professional or emergency support. Sessions are not a substitute for crisis services. If you or your loved one is in immediate danger, call or text 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.
Is there more after the core topics?
Yes. Once the core topics are in place, sessions can go deeper — mindfulness, the middle path, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and long-term integration.
Is this confidential?
Yes. These are your own sessions, with your own confidential record, separate from your loved one's care.
Ready to Get Started?
Whether your loved one is in treatment or not, we can help you learn skills that make a difference.