Distress Tolerance · DBT skill
Half-Smiling + Willing Hands
Half-Smiling and Willing Hands use your face and hands to support acceptance: a relaxed face with the lips slightly upturned, and open, unclenched hands.
The steps
- Soften your face. Not a real smile — just relax the muscles around your eyes and mouth.
- The corners of your mouth turn up slightly. Almost imperceptibly.
- Open your hands. Palms up if you can. Let them rest on your legs or beside you.
- Stay 60 seconds. The body teaches the mind that resistance can release.
In practice
When your body is rigid — fists, jaw, shoulders.
An example
Lying awake angry about a decision at work, someone notices their fists are clenched. They lay their hands palms-up at their sides, relax their forehead and jaw, and let the corners of their mouth lift slightly. The anger is still there, but it loosens its grip.
Where people get stuck
- Forcing a grin. A half-smile is barely visible; a forced smile feels fake and tends to backfire.
- Saving it for a crisis. It comes more easily when practiced in calm moments first.
- Expecting it to change the situation. It changes your stance toward the situation.
What it isn't
It isn't a mask for feelings you need to express. The half-smile is barely visible, so you can practice it anywhere, including with people you find difficult.