Distress Tolerance · DBT skill
Half-Smiling + Willing Hands
Half-Smiling and Willing Hands use your face and hands to support acceptance: a relaxed face with the lips slightly upturned, and open, unclenched hands.
The steps
- Soften your face. Not a real smile — just relax the muscles around your eyes and mouth.
- The corners of your mouth turn up slightly. Almost imperceptibly.
- Open your hands. Palms up if you can. Let them rest on your legs or beside you.
- Stay 60 seconds. The body teaches the mind that resistance can release.
When it helps
When your body is rigid — fists, jaw, shoulders.
An example
Lying awake angry about a decision at work, someone notices their fists are clenched. They lay their hands palms-up at their sides, relax their forehead and jaw, and let the corners of their mouth lift slightly. The anger is still there, but it loosens its grip.
Where people get stuck
- Forcing a grin. A half-smile is barely visible; a forced smile feels fake and tends to backfire.
- Saving it for a crisis. It comes more easily when practiced in calm moments first.
- Expecting it to change the situation. It changes your stance toward the situation.
What it isn't
It isn't a mask for feelings you need to express. The half-smile is barely visible, so you can practice it anywhere, including with people you find difficult.
If you're thinking about suicide or are in crisis, call or text 988 any time, or go to your nearest emergency room.
Related skills
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