Distress Tolerance · DBT skill
Turning the Mind
Turning the Mind is the repeated choice to come back to acceptance each time you notice yourself fighting reality.
The steps
- Picture a fork in the road. One path: fight reality. The other: accept it.
- Notice you've been on the fight path again.
- Walk back to the fork. Take the acceptance path instead.
- You'll come back to this fork hundreds of times. Each turn is the practice.
When it helps
When you can feel the choice point but keep going down the wrong path.
An example
Months after being passed over for a promotion, someone catches themselves thinking "this shouldn't have happened" for the fifth time that day. Each time, they notice it and turn back: "It did happen. I'm choosing to accept it."
Where people get stuck
- Getting discouraged by how often you have to turn. Turning many times is how the skill works, not a sign it's failing.
- Turning by pushing the thought away. It's a choice toward acceptance, not suppression.
- Missing the fork in the road. It helps to know your own signs of non-acceptance, like "why me" or "it's not fair."
Acceptance and change
Turning the mind isn't a choice between accepting and changing. When a situation can be changed, turn toward accepting the facts, then toward changing what you can.
If you're thinking about suicide or are in crisis, call or text 988 any time, or go to your nearest emergency room.
Related skills
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