Mindfulness · DBT skill
Non-Judgmentally
Non-Judgmentally is sticking to facts and consequences instead of labels like good, bad or should, so judgments don't make emotions bigger.
The steps
- Listen for judgment words in your head: "stupid," "lazy," "should," "ridiculous."
- Catch one. Pause.
- Restate as fact: "I forgot the appointment" instead of "I'm an idiot."
- Keep going. Catch the next one. Don't judge yourself for judging.
When it helps
When good/bad/should/must is running the show.
An example
Someone forgets a friend's birthday and thinks, "I'm a terrible friend." They restate it: "I forgot her birthday. She's probably hurt. I'll call her tonight." The guilt stays in proportion, and they make the call.
Where people get stuck
- Judging yourself for judging. Notice that judgment and let it go too.
- Thinking non-judgmental means approving. You can describe something as harmful without calling it good.
- Giving up your preferences. You can still want things; the point is to describe instead of label.
What it isn't
It doesn't mean you have no standards or that anything goes. You can still say something is harmful and act to change it.
Related skills
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